Why won’t you listen to me ?

 
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What if you don’t feel like you’re being heard? How do you get your health care provider to listen-really, really listen?

Your health care provider comes into the exam room. Quick pleasantries are exchanged, and then it’s down to business.

You explain why you’re there. You go over your symptoms. Already, you feel like you’re off to the races, and you’re probably right. Research says you get only seconds to talk before the practitioner jumps in with a word, question, comment, or redirect.

But it all seems so scripted and do they even hear what you’re saying?

Not all visits are like this, of course. But many are. Studies show most complaints about health care providers don’t have anything to do with their skills. It's mostly about poor communication.

A recent study found that 75% of practitioners believed that they communicated satisfactorily with those in their care. Only 21% of the people treated said that their talks went well.

Somewhere, there’s a disconnect. That can be devastating.

Well...respectfully, you need to demand their attention. You are important.

We are health care providers, but we don’t always understand everything about pain and therefore rely on you to tell us about it. I can’t feel your pain, but I can help you with it.

I have been known to sit with my patients for a considerable amount of their visit, and just listen. Your health story is vitally important.

 
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We tend to ask about symptoms rather than the story. And [people] then get conditioned to talk about their symptoms instead of their stories. Studies have shown that over 80% of diagnoses can be made just by listening.

By that, they mean listening to the story, the open-ended story of what happened, rather than asking a list of yes-no questions.

Don’t go into that little office simply saying your knee hurts. Tell the story of it. For example:

  • When it started

  • If it’s been painful before

  • What you were doing when your first felt it

  • How it felt

  • How often you feel the pain

That can really help clear things up.

Here is the bottom line... If there’s a communication problem, and your provider is not listening to you, how can you trust that he or she is making the correct diagnoses and treatment recommendations for you?

If you feel like you’re still not being listened to, maybe it’s time to look for somebody else who you’re more comfortable with.

Just remember: You have control over your care, and you play a vital role in your healing journey.

Nicola Robertson

Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist

 
 
Nicola Robertson