Painful Sex - Part two

Ok I am not going to lie, I like sex, I actively enjoy sex. I encourage my clients to have sex but…. Sex should be enjoyable, pain free and not out of obligation. Regardless of gender and sexual orientation we should not be having sex if it is not good for us.

In my professional world, I find this is especially common in women more so than men. This may be simply because this is the population I mostly work with. I find so many women feel they “have to” it's “their duty” and I am not talking to one or two clients, this is a conversation I have almost every week. I have young female clients coming to the clinic who have entered a sexual relationship because they have felt pressured by their friends or partner.

That first time sets the bar and if it's painful, not really something they wanted to do, that feeling that sex is something negative will remain. It can firmly place sex in the bad category in our brain.

Painful sex can diminish relationships between husbands and wives, and it can lead to the complete breakdown of relationships, period. If I told you every time you had to do something it would cause you pain, would you keep doing it for the sake of someone else – most of us would say yes. I am a parent and I would do anything for my children, and for some men and women, enduring painful sex to keep a family together is a fair trade.

In terms of pelvic floor physiotherapy, we see lots of people who have a muscular issue that is contributing to painful sex. Think of it as similar to having a painful low back that's stops you from lifting heavy boxes.

So how do you deal with painful sex? The first thing we have to do is talk about it. Sex is a normal natural thing, you can do it alone or with others and everyone has their own sexual preferences.

I highly recommend working out what your sexual preferences are…and women should know how to orgasm.

There are lots of great resources out there for sex. Come as you Are by Emily Nagoski, is a great book that I highly recommend.

If sex is painful, or becomes painful seek out help; the longer you wait the worse it will become.

Pelvic health physiotherapists are your best resource. Find one local to you.

Diamond Physiotherapy Pelvic Health Solutions Pelvic Guru

Nicola Robertson

Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist